There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
