she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
