Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
100% truth: never tied someone to a bed using 4 pairs of sweatpants before
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Randomize
