Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
