That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize
