I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Randomize