There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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