Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
