It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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