I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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