New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
