I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
It's a drunk scavenger hunt.
Everything on the list counts for double points if done naked.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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