omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
So that's a yes to the cocaine usage and a no to the rollerblading
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
So! As of five minutes ago I've officially masturbated in every room in my apartment
Dude, I helped you move in yesterday...
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