You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
Woohoo! Instead of a pregnancy test you can buy me a burrito
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
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