So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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