Would you feel weird if I asked out ___?
You dont call on our son's bday but you want to know if I'll give you permission to date my best friend?
So...no?`
my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Do u feel more socially accepted since someone else made up their girlfriend too?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize