sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
third nipple confirmed
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
