New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Randomize