Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
