What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
