Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
whenever he tweets that he wants to get blackout it's like a neon sign for "i want to bang you tonight"
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
