I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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