the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
Randomize
