So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
