careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
