Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
My landlord wasn't pleased about the new fire pit we built him.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Randomize
