I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
