R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Randomize
