Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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