I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
