As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
