Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
