I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
