she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
i licked the inside of a toilet bowl for $14. i really can't talk about my night.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
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