I'm going to jail i love you
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
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