is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
