Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
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