He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Don't know where this pizza came from but i got breakfast in bed
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