i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
You know you were really drunk last night when you woke up and had someone else's jacket with their car keys and medical marijuana that you wore home from the bar and no sign of your actual jacket.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
