found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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