You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm 99% sure I just flashed my dad with my vagina. So that's the new low now.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
