I think I am morally bankrupt
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
I'm gonna go out in a limb and say living out middle school fantasies is never a good idea
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
This is your morning news. Today at 5 pm I will be going out of town until the 29th. If you would like some great sex before I leave, please contact me. The available packages are: a house call, an outdoor excursion, or a delivery style in-car quickie. available only while supplies last.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
