Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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