so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize