either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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