I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
Randomize
