Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Randomize
