and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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