i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
