So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
