Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
