So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
