you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
Hey don't blame me, picking what flavor of condom to put on my dick is a very difficult selection process
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
Randomize
