Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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