I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
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