Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
KATE. I JUST NOTICED THAT LOWERCASE D'S LOOK LIKE SLIPPERS.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
