garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Randomize
