Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
40s are totally the cure
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
