I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
My dad just said "fuck circus"
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
