Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Randomize
