He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
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