Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
what's the name of that soccar player i bit again?
Ask if he wants his tooth back. It's in the freezer. In the box of hotpockets.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Also, I've found a new way to get drunk at work for free. Everytime I make a bushwhacker and there's extra... I put it in a cup. Its the Never ending drink.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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