so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
